RELATIONSHIPS: December seeks May for romance

I have a confession to make: I've been extremely judgmental of gay couples with a huge age disparity.

I've often seen a guy in his 40s or 50s with a boyfriend in his 20s and thought their coupling was the manifestation of one psychological complex or another. You know the textbook cases --  the older man has a "daddy" complex and wants someone young to idolize him or to control; the younger guy seeks a loving replacement for a distant father or someone established and richer to take care of him.

The sexual appeal of Mr. May's dewy, taut flesh and Energizer Bunny stamina was another obvious attraction I identified for Mr. December. (I'm so wise and generous).

And yes, I've considered they could be in love. I'm not so jaded that I ruled it out altogether. I just thought it highly unlikely.

But today I pressed pause on "What's Love Got To Do With It?"

It dawned on me as I was driving home from my Spanish lesson that a huge part of the appeal of May-December relationships for older guys could be this idea of a romantic love.

FITNESS: You are what you drink

By LORNE OPLER

Walk around any gym, and you’ll see everyone carrying a water bottle.  We all know we're supposed to drink water when we exercise, but why?  Here are some of the most important reasons:

1)      Water is critical to maintain healthy joints.  Surrounding your joints is a thick, water-containing substance called synovial fluid, which lubricates the bones’ cartilage (shock absorbing material at the ends of the bone).  Synovial fluid ensures smooth movement of bones when they rub against each other.  When we exercise, we lose water through perspiration.   If we don’t hydrate sufficiently, there is less water in our synovial fluid to keep the joints healthy. 

2)       Water affects our digestive system.  Drinking adequate amounts of water helps to improve the transporting of nutrients from the bloodstream to muscle cells, and the excretion of waste products.   Typically, weight trainers consume more calories than the average person, making adequate water consumption even more important.

3)      Water helps reduce fatigue. Research has shown that a loss of 2 or more percent of  body weight from perspiration is connected to a drop in plasma volume (Plasma is the liquid which carries blood cells and is almost all water).   With less plasma moving through the body, the heart works harder to get blood and its nutrients circulated.  This can also cause muscle cramps, dizziness and fatigue.  With a 2 percent loss of water, the body is already in a state of dehydration.     And dehydration will always cause your exercise performance to suffer.   

Welcome to the show!

I have 43 years. 


Yep, that’s my age. It’s not who I am.

Taking my cue from some Europeans I read about – they always seem more sophisticated than everyone else, right? – I decided last December 13 to own my age instead of be defined by it.

I am not 43 years old! I have, as a Parisian might say, 43 years of love, joy, sadness, grief, friendship, success, failure, anger, envy, laughter, desire, rejection, kindness – i.e. experience – and hopefully wisdom.

It’s my declaration that life shouldn’t end when your age starts with a 4, 5 or 6. Though the world of entertainment, various media and gay culture would have us believe it does end in every way that matters – no relevance, no fun, no love – I intend to dance through my fifth decade and beyond as a fascinating new chapter where I continue to get to know and love the main character.

I know there are other gay men out there who feel the same way. Our world is on the cusp of great change, including same-sex marriage equality. It’s time to recommit to living full and rewarding lives. Many are already doing it through creativity, intelligence, compassion, loving relationships and, when ignorance about who we are persists, a no-holds-barred determination to bring about more change.

These are the men I need to see and read more about. It’s for and about these gay men that I’ve created THE WILL DEAN SHOW, a blog that uplifts, enlightens and celebrates men who refuse to be limited by negative perceptions of what it means to be a gay man in his 40s and beyond. 

ABOUT THE BLOG

THE WILL DEAN SHOW signifies a new day for gay men. It’s a blog designed to inform, provoke, entertain and inspire its readers and participants. Each week it features different topics, such as fitness, relationships, politics, philanthropy, sports, style, the arts, technology and more.

Despite its name, the blog is more than my musings and observations. There are interviews with the experts, authors, community leaders and everyday guys who excel or offer new thought in their particular fields. So keep reading and let me know your thoughts on the topics and what you’d like to see featured.

ABOUT THE NAME

When I was growing up, struggling to understand my differences, there really weren’t any out-and-proud gay men I could look to for support, guidance and kinship. Like a lot of kids who don’t fit in with their families and peers, I escaped the hostile world through reading, writing, drawing and television.

It was through TV talk shows that I first heard gay people discuss their issues and dreams. As hokey as it may sound, “The Phil Donahue Show” held up a mirror and helped me see for the first time that I was going to be OK.

THE WILL DEAN SHOW is an homage to Mr. Donahue, chat queen Oprah Winfrey and all other creative outlets that encourage us to validate, enrich and live our lives.