THE LIFE: Terms of endearment or entrapment

I've always understood as a journalist that you can ask anyone about anything -- without causing a "Real Housewives" table-flipping, neck-rolling, wig-tugging scene. It's all about how you ask the question.

The key is to get across to the person you're interviewing your intention behind the deeply personal, potentially embarrassing probe -- through your tone of voice, facial expression, body language and lead-in questions.

* Senator Craig, when did you first realize you had a talent for tap-dancing in small spaces?

All of the best interviewers have a pose or mannerism they use to ask tough questions, but above all, having a genuine interest in the answer is paramount to getting at the truth.

It's a theory I often apply in my non-work life. I like asking questions but not in a way that makes the person I'm asking uncomfortable to answer honestly.

It's something gay men have done throughout our history.

HISTORY: The ball goes on for unlikely activists



A participant in a Gay Mardi Gras ball takes the stage in an elaborate
costume. The men often make their own showstopping ensembles,
using a backpack as the foundation to balance and carry their large
Vegas-style headpieces.







Before Stonewall erupted in 1969, bringing national attention to anti-gay discrimination and police harassment in New York, there were groups of young men in New Orleans primping, parading and performing their way into history as civil rights activists.



These men used the art of drag and Mardi Gras to form clubs – also known as krewes – which allowed them and other gay men to be themselves and bond as a community. In 1962 Petronius was the first gay krewe to apply for and be granted a charter, like other clubs in the city.

Each year the krewes hosted Gay Mardi Gras balls, elaborate send-ups of high society’s Carnival celebration. The balls became a popular tradition in the city’s French Quarter, despite the law against cross-dressing.

The only time drag was legally allowed in New Orleans in the 1950s and '60s was during Mardi Gras. Even then, a costume had to have at least one item of men’s clothing and it couldn’t be worn after dark. It was not uncommon for balls to be the target of police raids, but the men were persistent.

In his first feature-length documentary, “The Sons of Tennessee Williams” (www.exposureroom.com/sonsofTWtrailer), filmmaker Tim Wolff reveals how the balls evolved from being “criminal activity” to being a cultural phenomenon that attracts gay and straight people. The film, which had two sold-out screenings this month at the Palm Springs International Film Festival (http://www.psfilmfest.org/), also takes viewers on an inspiring, humorous journey through New Orleans' gay history.

RELATIONSHIPS: Oh brother, you're gay too?





The Cohan brothers from about 1970 (left to right): David, Dan and Gary





When David Cohan came out to his family a year after college, he already had an ally within the fold who could identify with his struggle and offer guidance -- only David didn't realize it at the time.

He was the youngest of three sons in a middle-class Jewish American family in Philadelphia. After coming out he learned from friends that his brother Gary, the middle son, also was gay. Though they were not particularly close, having a gay sibling freed David from the sense of "aloneness" many gay men feel when they come out to their families. It helps that there's someone else who understands the experience and the family dynamic.

For those of us who don't have a close gay relative, there's a curiosity about what it would be like to have a gay brother to give advice and support, and show us the ropes.

David shares his experience with THE WILL DEAN SHOW, emphasizing that each family's situation is different and every sibling's perspective is unique. For example, after David came out to himself he realized his brother might be gay, but Gary hadn't said it.

RELATIONSHIPS: Women who like men who love guys



Friends Veronica Ochoa and Anival Morales bonded through divorce,
spontaneous nudity and a photo shoot with an inanimate third party.

 A great philosopher once said, "Friendship is love with wings."

Cicero, who lived Before Christ and just about everyone else, had a point. With wings of support, encouragement and advice from friends, we often feel empowered to soar in life, to be who we really are, achieve what we want.

Several centuries later the celebrated English poet Lord Byron described friendship as "love without his wings."  OK, I get his point too.

When lusty love is fleeting or life spins out of control, a good friend can ground us with his acceptance, humor or command to "snap out of it."

For many gay men, the strongest source of friendship -- with or without wings -- is often a straight woman. Consider Will and Grace. Their friendship was the most enduring, rewarding relationship for both during the sitcom's run. And look at Elizabeth Taylor and Monty, Elizabeth and Rock, Elizabeth and Roddy ...

What is it about gay men and straight women that creates such a kinship? The bond has become so common in life and popular culture that women on reality TV shows are referring to their gay male friends as their "gay husbands."

To get the female perspective  THE WILL DEAN SHOW asked flight attendant Veronica Ochoa to explore what makes her relationship with Anival Morales (her BFF) work and why it's such an important part of her life.

PHILANTHROPY: Tap into your passion

When Sherman Tam was promoted in June, his new job as a senior marketing manager for a technology firm brought all of the changes he expected to his career.

He had prestige, more responsibility, a bigger team and financial rewards. At age 43, Sherman had achieved the pinnacle of corporate success. “I felt I had accomplished what I wanted to do professionally.”

What he didn’t see coming was the nagging question, which began as a whisper as he settled into his new position: “Is this what I wanted to do with the rest of my life?”

He knew the answer.

“Corporate America was not my thing long-term,” Sherman said. Increasing market share and revenue didn’t compare with the sense of purpose and personal fulfillment he felt whenever he volunteered with a nonprofit organization.

ARTS & BOOKS: A chat with Armistead Maupin

Whenever I hear the name, Armistead Maupin, I think back to the first time I encountered the iconic author's work -- and the old chicken-and-egg debate ensues. Except it's the book-and-miniseries debate.

I'm sure I learned of Armistead through his "Tales of the City" series, but I do not recall whether I read the books or watched the miniseries first. What I remember is being thoroughly entertained and feeling as if I knew this grab-bag of bold, sexy, lovable, gay, straight and transgender characters.

More than 30 years after he introduced us to his San Francisco playground, Armistead continues to explore the lives of Mary Ann Singleton, Michael Tolliver and their crew. This year he released "Mary Ann in Autumn," the eighth book in the series and his 34th tome overall.

When Armistead visited THE WILL DEAN SHOW this week he discussed the real-life shenanigans that inspired the series, the ongoing lesson of his work and the one word he feels describes the challenges gay men face today.

OUR WORLD: Gay in the Middle East



Michael Luongo, author

 Gay men are everywhere.

For evidence supporting this adage, look no further than the work of journalist Michael Luongo. Michael goes where these men and their stories are, from Texas to Buenos Aires to Baghdad.

I met Michael in 2001 in Dallas. I was attending my first National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association Convention, and feeling a little lost. Michael must've noticed I was a newbie because he came over and was so kind and helpful to me during that time. When the convention ended he told me was going to stay behind and explore other parts of Texas.

He still has that adventurous spirit. After he agreed to be interviewed on THE WILL DEAN SHOW about his most recent work, I sent him the questions by e-mail, which he planned to answer while en route to Buenos Aires, Argentina. He's moved there for a few months to update Frommer’s Buenos Aires guidebook.