THE LIFE: Gay Days at Disneyland



Jose, Charles, Will (about to bite off Charles'
ear), Dan, Brazilian woman and son

 My life is missing whole chunks of pop culture influences.

Unlike my friends, I can't sing along to ABBA songs. You can take my gay membership card now.

I've never seen "Mame," "The Goonies" or any of the "Star Wars" franchise. I know, gasp!

How did I miss out on what was the rage for many of my peers? I certainly didn't miss the hype (These topics still come up during cocktail or dinner party chatter, and my contribution is usually to ask questions)? But during my childhood I simply wasn't interested or aware enough that paying attention would be socially useful as an adult.

But here's the kicker: I can't remember ever as a child wanting to visit Disneyland. Yes I was a Disney virgin (a moniker enthusiastically bestowed upon me Saturday).

So when a couple of friends, Charles and Jose, invited me to spend a Gay Day with them at Anaheim's international attraction, I didn't ask a lot of questions. I just said yes. It would be a new experience, probably a lot of fun and fill in a few cultural gaps, I thought. The three of us met up with another friend, Dan, and my deflowering began -- at "The Happiest Place on Earth."


Gay Days
Each October thousands of gay men and lesbians descend upon the "magic kingdom" for a weekend of good clean frivolity and tribal bonding. Most wear the traditional uniform, a red shirt, creating crimson waves throughout the park.

Tears of joy
Disney creator Walt Disney must've been elated to see so many gay fans of his work because it was drizzling teardrops when we arrived Saturday morning and it continued for a solid 30 minutes or so. The rain was refreshing and didn't soak us even a third as much as riding Drench (I mean Splash) Mountain did.

The rides
Splash Mountain was the most challenging for me. I've been told it's relatively mild for a roller coaster, but I don't ride. I hadn't actually been on an amusement park ride in years, but there I was in the middle of the log -- arms momentarily in the air before one of several stomach-churning drops. My reward? An epic bone-chilling splash that I thought only happened in cartoons.

Most of my clothes dried soon enough, except for my right shoe which continued to squish into the night. Poor Jose, who definitely took one for the team, rode in the front of the log and wore soaked jeans for the better part of the day.

I ended up riding a lot more than I anticipated: Indiana Jones, Haunted Mansion, Finding Nemo submarine, It's A Small World. They were all fun.

My favorite was undoubtedly Pirates of the Caribbean. The details of the mechanical pirates (including Johnny Depp's Captain Jack), wenches and tail-wagging dogs were amazingly realistic and humorous. During our tour of the pirate world Dan pointed out the beautiful night sky above us.

Later as we're standing and waiting to get into a popular outdoor restaurant I look up at the sky and it looks exactly as it did during the ride, which made me wonder "Is the sky real?"

Love in the details
Everything is an illusion at Disneyland. It's world-famous for its commitment to artistry, craftsmanship and storytelling. That's what impressed me most about the park. It doesn't have the death-defying roller coasters; even small childen fearlessly ride most things there. But what Disney provides with each ride is an incredible story that you become a part of for a short time.

Still, the crew I was with couldn't help having a little fun with the illusions. Things that looked like they were made of wood -- even Tarzan's treehouse -- were made of concrete fashioned to look like bark, shingles, bamboo. At one point during dinner at the ranch -- which really wasn't a ranch -- Charles questioned whether the bones in the ribs he was eating were made of resin. "Do they just put them through the dishwasher and reuse them?" he said.

Celebrity sightings
Speaking of illusion, a few masters of the art were part of Gay Days. Morgan and Raven from "RuPaul's Drag Race" were there. I recognized both, though they were out of drag and wearing red shirts like the hordes of other men. The crowd was so diverse in age and body type that a couple of lean, tan, very pretty and hairless guys were noticeable.

Michael Jackson was there, too, immortalized as Captain EO in the 17-minute film George Lucas, Francis Ford Coppola and he created for Disney in the mid-'80s. I had heard about it years ago but, you guessed it, never saw it. Though Michael wasn't convincing as an actor, his incomparable talent as a dancer lives on in 3-D at Disneyland.

Mickey and the gang
Walt may have been crying tears of joy from heaven about Gay Days, but Mickey seemed to be hiding. After we had been at the park awhile Dan noticed that we had seen only two Disney characters -- and not even any of the superstars. There was Winnie the Pooh and something hairy that was a wolf or squirrel or maybe a coyote.

Where were Mickey, Minnie and their entourage (Donald, Daffy, Pluto, you can fill in the rest)?

The answer to that question was revealed near the end of the night. While Charles and Dan were waiting in a long line (the lines are incredibly long but they're configured in such a way that  you're constantly moving and you don't see how long they are until you're 10-people deep) to ride a Dumbo, Jose and I went to watch the parade and interactive dance along the park's Main Street. That's where we saw Minnie, the pantless ducks, Mickey, the whole gang.

It was Gay Days! Of course Mickey would make his appearance during the parade, dancing to wholesome pop tunes first on a float and then in the middle of the street. The kids watching the spectacle and dancing along seemed to love it, but Mickey was really there for the gays.

The sequined trim on his jacket said it all.